Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the
night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' Said Bob.

'Did you, er, happen to getup in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said,
'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'



(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... you know you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)

A woman took a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope
and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,
"I'm so sorry, your Duck 'Cuddles' has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't
done any testing on him or anything.. He might just be in a
coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and
returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his
hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and
sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet
with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few
moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also
sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on it's haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled
out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said,
this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then
the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "?250!", she
cried, "?250 just to tell me my duck is dead!!

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the
bill would have been ?20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat
Scan, it's now ?250.00."

@Mikey_C

Quote:


But isn't that normal after a Few beers

Did Rigo Show Or was it fixed with out his help?

@Antique

Actually blu ray is being superseded this Summer!! by the higher and brighter resolution..... Sun ray!

It's a joint development of Sun and Shine, the competition is expected to get burned!!


Future's so bright you gotta wear shades

@Chris

I like this piece in the text
Quote
Microsoft's flagship product, which runs the vast majority of the world's PCs, has become so bulky and ill-equipped for the challenges of modern computing that it risks becoming obsolete
end quote

We could have told them years ago if they'd asked

@cogvos1

Just to let you know I posted it about a week ago Amiga tribute Video

Check this out, as posted by Tjlazer on a.org

Amiga video

@Outcast

Quote:

Ok paul have sent them to your James Bond addy

@Chris

Quote:

Good Point!! I'll transfer some to the Micro and see how well they work!

See Mikey, speak of the Devil and he's sure to appear
Hi Outcast how ya doing, has Sue or the girls have PowerPoint on their PCs
As I have a few attachments you might like too see!

@Mikey_C

I PM him On AWN a few weeks ago and he did reply
Remember he's in his Linux stage at the moment or he might be back working nights?

I can send an e-mail Mikey if you haven't got his

@Mikey_C

Quote:


It was Mikey_C ,we just didn't want to say

Well I think the Fat lady has a severe case of laryngitis
so it may be a while

@spotUP

Quote:

Sounds promising ,can but wish them the best for what ever the New year brings with all its ups and downs

@Valiant

Quote:

No Problem Glad Everybody found a use for them
Yes Seasons greetings to one and all




















Hmm its Easter next?

@Valiant

Quote:


We can but Try



and another one for Rogue



Even if it is a bit hard to read his name well it is on a blackboard

@nbache

Quote:

Well Niels
The first is as Santa's little helper in the workshop the 2nd is as a Chocolate Soldier hanging on the Tree the 3rd is as a Gold foil wrapped Chocloate on the tree

sorry you had to lose your beard in the last two

@Mikey_C

Have a great Christmas and a Happy New year Mikey
Just don't fly too high on Christmas Eve, and keep those Reindeer under control this Year ( don't forget the poop a scoop Ok! even if it is good for the garden )

@Rudei

Quote:

Hi Rudei ( see got it right this time )
We already have two(at least) Great Icon Makers on this site, and as I've said before I'm only Modifying peoples existing avatars I'm sure that Mason or Klesterjr could do better

Oh here's a few more
one for Antique


One for Fransexy even if his is already Crimbo up!!


and last one for agafaster

@salass00

Quote:

No, Sorry I'm snowed under Ho Ho Ho